Hopelessness
by Elia Black-cat
Summary: A songfic comemmorating the sadder moments in the stories. My first fanfic!


**Hopelessness **

Backstreet Boys - More Than That Lyrics

K.A Applegate's 'Animorphs' books.

**I can see that you've been crying  
You can't hide it with a lie **

_I am sure, she said. She put every bit of faith into those three words. She wanted me to believe. But I could see the tears that were threatening to well up in her eyes._

_Like I said, hawks don't miss much.  
_**What's the use in you denying  
That what you have is wrong **

_Rat meat dripped from my beak._

_In my panic, I forgot what I was. I tried to run away. But I no longer had legs and feet to run with. I had killing talons. Bloody talons._

_I fell in the dirt._

_No, I cried voicelessly. But I could still see the dead rat. And I could taste it. And no matter how many times I said "no," it would always be "yes."_**  
I heard him promise you forever  
But forever's come and gone  
Baby, he would say whatever  
It takes to keep you blind  
To the truth between the lines, oh…  
**

**  
I will love you more than that  
I won't say the words  
Then take them back **

_It is very difficult to be in human morph and remember that you are not one of them. That their pain is not your pain. It is hard to remain apart. Sometimes very hard._**  
Don't give loneliness a chance  
Baby listen to me when I say  
I will love you more than that **

"_What are you doing!" Marco yelled. "Are you insane? What are you doing?"_

_I didn't have an answer. I didn't know the answer. I was beyond logic and reason now. I just didn't want to have to hurt anyone or anything._

_That was all: I just didn't want to hurt…_**  
**

**Baby, you deserve much better **

_I flew out through her window into the night. Rachel's sad eyes seemed to follow me. I hated the way they all felt sorry for me. All they could see was that I was not what I used to be. All they could see was that I had no home. _

_But they didn't really understand. I hadn't had a real home since my parents died. I was used to being alone._

_And I had the sky._**  
What's the use in holding on  
Don't you see it's now or never  
'Cause I just can't be friends **

_This mission would count. This mission would matter. This time, they would bleed._**  
Baby knowing in the end, that..  
**_I guess Rachel would have enjoyed it, in her own way._

_She would have laughed. She would have thought it was all way over the top, but at the same time would have liked the attention. Would have, but she was a few grams of ash in a jar resting inside an open wooden box._

**  
I will love you more than that  
I won't say the words  
Then take them back**

_It is very difficult to be in human morph and remember that you are not one of them. That their pain is not your pain. It is hard to remain apart. Sometimes very hard._**  
Don't give loneliness a chance  
Baby listen to me when I say  
I will love you more than that**

"_What are you doing!" Marco yelled. "Are you insane? What are you doing?"_

_I didn't have an answer. I didn't know the answer. I was beyond logic and reason now. I just didn't want to have to hurt anyone or anything._

_That was all: I just didn't want to hurt…_

**There's not a day that passes by  
I don't wonder why we haven't tried  
It's not too late to change your mind **

_I let it go. I surrendered._

_Tobias, a boy whose face I could no longer remember, no longer existed._**  
So take my hand, don't say goodbye  
**_Tobias._

_He had morphed. He was his human self once more. He'd done that for me. And because he was crying. I understood. Humans cry, hawks don't. _

"_I love you," I said to the screen._

_And god, how could so much regret and so much sweetness and so much sadness be all present in that single moment. I was already dead and missing my unlived life. I was already dead and Tobias was mourning._

**I will love you more than that  
I won't say the words  
Then take them back **

_It is very difficult to be in human morph and remember that you are not one of them. That their pain is not your pain. It is hard to remain apart. Sometimes very hard._**  
Don't give loneliness a chance  
Baby listen to me when I say  
I will love you more than that**

"_What are you doing!" Marco yelled. "Are you insane? What are you doing?"_

_I didn't have an answer. I didn't know the answer. I was beyond logic and reason now. I just didn't want to have to hurt anyone or anything._

_That was all: I just didn't want to hurt…_**  
**


End file.
